Entries for June, 2005
June 4th, 2005
what the fuck?! POSTED AT 12:15 AM another tiring school week.... yeah... its been 2 weeks... i cant say im loving it. im really having a hard time. its all so tiring, i get so fatigued when i get home, i cant even do my homework. dang! s.a.t tomorrow... s.a.t stands for... uhm... stupid american test. wow. that was cool. i made that all up. yeah. haha! that felt good. take it easy monique..=D Listening to: get low. Feeling: tired and pissed. do you care?
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June 6th, 2005
I LOVE YOU. POSTED AT 10:26 PM I never really knew you |
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June 6th, 2005
nothing sucks more than this one. POSTED AT 11:01 PM |
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June 10th, 2005
late for school. POSTED AT 11:05 AM Feeling: lazy boy! |
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June 11th, 2005
MATH! POSTED AT 12:48 AM MATH is a Listening to: sunlight- nina Feeling: sore |
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June 11th, 2005
sometimes people just get you wrong. POSTED AT 02:01 AM Listening to: constantly- nina Feeling: worried |
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June 13th, 2005
its 3:30am! POSTED AT 04:02 AM i just woke up... this thought has been bothering me... i remember the last time i went out with my girlfriend, that was just like the other day. hmmm... we went to eat somewhere... yeah. then... there, while we were eating, she was supposed to send this message to her friend, but badluck struck, i got the message... in the message was the name of this guy. whooo. i was pretending i was ok... going along with the conversation.... but then, i couldlnt help thinking, why would my girlfriend look at other boys when she's with me... she was always distracted by the boys passing by. hmmm... i know im not that handsome, but if she really loves me, why would she look at other men? everything is ok with me... just like nothing happened. but what she doesnt know, it hurts. try being with your girlfriend, and she keeps seeing "cute" guys, lets see if you dont get bothered. i feel really pissed off about my self. im always on the losing side, yet i dont do anything about it. maybe thats love? you know you're looking like shit but you dont really care. aslong as you love that person. right?! hmmm... i know i havent treating her the she should be treated. i've been mean most of the time. telling her things that hurt her feelings so much. i really didnt know if she's mad or what. its like in one blink of an eye, she's in a bad mood. and i have no idea what's happening. all i can say is im sorry, i really am... but what can sorry do? its just a word? right? now im thinking... maybe she's not satisfied with me. napipilitan lang. i hope not. i love her. and im doing everything to make her happy, to satisfy her. but if these things im doing arent enough, im willing to take it a step further. im really concerned now... why would she look at other guys while im infront of her? i still have no answer to that question... thoughts are rushing into my wee brain. i couldnt process these thoughts all at once. maybe its normal? or maybe its not... im not sure.. one things for sure, when im with her, she's the only one i look at, and she's the only one i think about. i love her soooo much, i just cant seem to do anything right to show her how much she means to me. well.... goodluck to me. hmmm... i gotta bounce, i have to go back to sleep, its 4am. im really sleepy and tired. i just cant help but think about that. maybe i'll feel a little better now. hmmm... i hope so. well, nothing to be worried about, we've been ok for the past 24 hours... i hope it goes on forever. i've learned my lesson though, girls will be girls as boys will be boys. i still love her no matter what. and thats the bottom line. Reading: i dont know. Listening to: the indescribable sound of complete silence. Watching: my life pass me by. Feeling: stupefied by love. |
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June 13th, 2005
why cant i be someone worth loving? POSTED AT 04:12 AM Reading: monique's tabulas. Listening to: the stupidly annoying sound of the aircon buzzing. Feeling: useless. |
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June 14th, 2005
this is where it all begins. POSTED AT 10:17 PM |
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June 16th, 2005
so this is how it feels... POSTED AT 12:01 AM darn... this is really hard. i have to get used to this. from now on, monique has new friends... and they eat up all my time! time that i should be enjoying with her! so this is what she was trying to tell me, 3 god damned weeks ago. but i was too busy to argue... now i know the feeling, and im really sorry if i took you for granted. i promise it would never happen again. i hope you enjoy your rather 'short' college life here in the philippines. hmmmm... im still wondrin'... why am i just me? maybe the answer lies ahead, as i travel through an endless journey called life. what is the enigma the lies beneath my personality? even i could not tell, why i was meant to be me... i did not exist to save the world from exploding like super heroes did. im stupid, not like einstein who was destined to change the course of history... life is short... i hope it ends soon. i cant wait to unravel the mystery that is my life. so many questions, so little answers... i sit here, waiting, wishing, dreaming... that we could just run away to an island where only we exist, and we no one bothers us. but thats just my imagination... the possibility that that would happen is 0.5:9999999999999999999999999999999.99... yeah.. i could have said never, but theres still a point five... a small glimmer of hope that keeps me moving. this is it for now. i hafta go get some rest. gotta bounce. chill. Listening to: kailan-mymp Feeling: jealous |
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June 16th, 2005
down low... couldnt get up. now i need help. POSTED AT 11:53 PM i feel so depressed. i need drugs. i have to be active in stuff. i feel so helpless all the time. the smiles i flash are only the facade of what i really feel within me. im down. and i guess this would be sticking around for good. broken dreams, broken future... who knows what lies ahead? THIS SUCKS... for good.
"hatred leads to anger, anger leads to fighting, fighting leads to death." Feeling: downright stupid. |
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June 17th, 2005
i am who i am. POSTED AT 12:16 AM "theres nothing to fear, but fear itself" Reading: nothin. Listening to: get me! Watching: my life and how stupid i've become. Feeling: i opt not to lose. |
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June 17th, 2005
incoherent thoughs piled up. POSTED AT 12:18 AM |
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June 19th, 2005
another lazy sunday afternoon. POSTED AT 04:13 PM |
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June 20th, 2005
WORDS WOMEN USE. POSTED AT 09:27 AM Fine This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. Five Minutes If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. Nothing This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine". Go Ahead This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT! Loud Sigh Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing". That's Okay This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. Thanks This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you. Do not question it, just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly. Listening to: alarm clock. Feeling: im full of energy again. |
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June 20th, 2005
early bird. POSTED AT 09:38 AM wow, i woke up at around 8:40, its 9:33 am aready... better get
ready for school. its one good and tiring day comin up. i hafta be in
school at around 12:45 and we'll be dismissed at i dont know, around 8-
8:30 pm. wow. another late night in manila... i wonder what would
happen to me. well, im used to it anyway... imma be home by 10
pm, im not sure... this sucks. well, its a monday anyway... ya'll take
care now. gotta get wet. boo ya! Feeling: complacent |
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June 20th, 2005
school hours. POSTED AT 01:58 PM Reading: lego mindstorm shit. Listening to: lego mindstorm guy. Watching: lego mindstorm movie. Feeling: surprised |
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June 21st, 2005
crash landing for an *almost* perfect day. POSTED AT 10:03 PM whoooo. another good job done by the ever stupid me. everything was
going as smooth as silk. i thought my day was perfect, then came the
thing i feared the most. monique getting mad, pissed off or anything
that you could relate to getting pissed off. haay... i dont know what
to think about now. all i want to do is bitch slap my face till it
turns purple. so this is the farthest i can go... "almost perfect." Listening to: MYMP Watching: radiation from the computer Feeling: worried |
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June 21st, 2005
June 24th, 2005
tsageng! POSTED AT 10:09 PM whooooooo... what a day... time well spent with monique... quality time i hope... hehe.=D let me tell you the things that happened to me this past few days. wednesday.. nothin special, same punk ass everyday routine.. go to school, study(?), p.e. class, dismissal... well, the rain was new... i had a hard time going home... eventually, mother nature got tired, and ran out of rain drops. tough luck! thursday... not the same punk ass routine. had to go to school early because of this lego mindstorm shit we have to do in school... i didnt get to commute with monique(sorry!), hmmm... after class, we went to myron's place... what a big big house! well, its not really a house....it was something like a building. hmmmm.... we had fun, UBE! hehe. even our ICT prof sir oli came to the party. he was singing and dancing with us. what a cool guy for a prof! myron and i played billiards the whole night, unfortunately, i lost all of the friggin games! thats ok, he's somekind of a champion anyway. oh, i almost forgot! myron is one rich kid! believe me!!!! hmmmm... that was all for that day. got home at around 2am.=D friday...err today? this is something good. woke up 30 mins before monique gets dissmissed. i had to pick her up from school, so we could go out. =D had a great time with her. quality time i hope. but it was for me. we watched mr and mrs smith. it was good. something worth watching. we left the mall at around 7 pm... luckily, there wasnt much traffic so the drive home was pretty fast. ooooh! monique is going to have a test thingy tomorrow. goodluck bee!!!=D whooooo. im kinda tired, still havent gotten enough sleep yet. i hafta bounce people. chill! Listening to: kyla Feeling: i say... blank! |
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June 26th, 2005
what a chaotic world i live in... POSTED AT 12:22 AM whooo... havent been watching much tv these past few days... but i know about the gloria issue, the 2 million signatures for susan roces for president in the snap election... the death of cardinal sin (thanks to my friend nico)... what else did i miss? i didnt miss the dramatic and action filled game 7 of the san antonio- detroit series... i missed a lot of national issues, well, i dont really care... it doesnt affect me anyway.. who cares. those assholes can find their way out of the mess they've gotten themselves into. i dont really give a damn. all i can say is, why dont they all just shut their pie holes up and get back to work! freaks!!! hmmm. back to the NBA... the spurs against the pistons. a series worth watching. not the usual lopsided match ups, unlike the lakers vs nets in 2002, this one was thrilling. no sweeps. probably one of the most exciting and thrilling NBA finals i've ever seen. it comes next to the jordan led bulls againts the utah jazz of john stockton and karl malone. defense vs defense... what a great game. i was hoping that miami and pheonix see each other in the finals, but the spurs and pistons proved me wrong. defense wins championships. now its all starting to make sense... it wasnt just a sissy quote from coaches... it was true. the top two defensive teams beating the top two offensive teams in the nba. but in the end, as the smokes of war cleared the battle field that is the NBA, only one team came out victorious. The San Antonio Spurs. with a great cast of international players, they again proved the world that they are champions, with their suffocating defense and rather witty play making, they defeated the pistons in a crucial game 7. we have to give credit to the pistons though, another team with suffocating defense and intimidating players, from guards chauncey and rip, forwards tayshaun,sheed and ben, to reserves lindsey hunter, antonio mcdyess, carlos arroyo... all of them all star caliber players. but the cast of the spurs were just hungry for the much coveted trophy. tony, manu, bruce, robert and tim teamed up to get through the pistons and win the championship. it wasnt a one or two man effort like the lakers, the team did it... there is no "i" in the word team anyway...=D i have to say... manu played an amazing series! *sigh!* im tired, its 12:19 am... sleepy... all bummed up. i have to study for a quiz in math on tuesday. Goodluck to me then. last time we had a quiz, i was way below passing. like 28% below passing. So help me, God! Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam. Reading: nothin Listening to: story of the year-burning years Feeling: tired |
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June 26th, 2005
check this out. POSTED AT 12:25 AM check out my MULTIPLY account... there you can see numerous photos of me, monique, my friends, and my blockmates.
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June 27th, 2005
running out of time. POSTED AT 11:25 PM Listening to: magical feeling - mymp Feeling: guilty |
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June 27th, 2005
June 27th, 2005
blah blah blah.... POSTED AT 11:45 PM "Character is higher than intellect. A great soul will be strong to live as well as think." - ralph waldo emerson
"Genius aint anything more than elegant common sense." - josh billings
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June 27th, 2005
perfect! POSTED AT 11:49 PM for all those witty people out there. suck on this!!! "Wit is the lowest form of humor." - Alexander Pope
Reading: quotes from people Listening to: talaga naman - mymp Feeling: determined |
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June 28th, 2005
can you see it in my eyes?! POSTED AT 11:29 PM life is like a ball... minsan may hangin, minsan wala.(poota anlabo men!) kaya yun... and it seems like my basketball has gone flat. some foolish people squeezed the air out of my basketball. jeez. check this out... people are trying their best to teach me;good. im trying my very best to learn;better! but the God Damned exams are trying everything they fucking can to fail me and bring me down to hell!!!;bad, very bad!!! all hope is lost. i dont even have the guts to study. it seems like the harder i try to study, the harder i hurt is when i fail. what can you say about that?! fuckers!!! i hate this feeling. seems like nothing right is coming into my life. help me... please. i desperately need it. i'd do anything just not to fail. my brains may not be enough, even the hardest of my efforts fail. what else am i left with? nothing? "the key to life, lowered expectations." this is some how right. see, if you set a high expectation for something, when you fail, all you do is cry. try setting a low expectation for a particular thing, if you get way beyond your expectations, jubilation is at hand. victory is yours. prove me wrong people... bring it on! "when love is not madness, it is not love."-Peter Calderon de la Barca
im madly inlove with some one i did not even expect i'd love in the
first place. but now... i love her too much, and im willing to do the
craziest of things just to prove to her how much i really do love
her. BRING IT ON!!! Listening to: get me - mymp Feeling: gloomy |
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June 29th, 2005
LATE FOR SCHOOL. again... POSTED AT 11:03 AM another lazy day for me... i have no more strenght left in my earthly body. i had to study soooooooooooooo damn hard for 2 nights and 2 God damned days for a quiz i would definitely fail!!! sabi nga ni ric, "tsong, biodegradable nnman ung test ko." whoooooooo! hell yeah! biodegradable. BULOK EH! putek. i put so much effort in sutdying for something i would eventually fail in! some say i dont put that much effort, i dont know... maybe im just lazy. cant think about anything. but i really did study. i really did... i even have practice sheets to prove that. the exam was just a notch above what i was studying for. who's to blame? me or the prof? i'd have to say me... who's responsible for studying? the teacher only teaches me lessons, its up to me to understand what she's saying. but why on earth would she make a quiz way so different from what she's giving us in class? torture i guess. "Failure is the only opportunity to begin again, more intelligently." - Henry Ford people say something they know would hurt you. i dont know if they do that on purpose. Feeling: frustrated |
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June 29th, 2005
tinatamad pa ako pumasok. POSTED AT 11:22 AM ~~ A. NAGAWA mo na bang.. ~~ 1. Maglakad sa kalye khit d ka panagsusuklay at hihilamos sa umaga?~ yeah 2. Tumawid sa baha ng Espana?~hindi pa 3. Maligo sa ulan na walang bra/brief?~ ofcourse. 4. Tumawid sa no jaywalking zone?~ oo nman. 5. Magdial ng mga number sa teleponong mga taong d mo kilala?~ ako pa? prank caller. kaso may caller id na eh 6. Maglagay ng thumbtacks sa upuan ngteacher mo?~ oo. hahaha! nung 3rd yr. sa baklang adviser ko. 7. Magsulat sa pader ng school?~ oo, eto nkalagay "si mike may frat!" 8. Magsulat sa puno?~ oo. nkalagay," mamatay na makabasa nito." kaso tumaba na ata ung puno eh. 9. Umakyat sa bakod ng school?~oo. hahaha! nung ayaw kami palabasin ng guard. 10. Magpanggap na ibang tao sa telepono?~ oo. ako si bryan, from the ateneo de manila university office of admission. 11. Isumbong ang kaklase mong pinakopya mo na nataasan ka pa?~ haha. oo. palagi. 12. Halikan ang crush mo habang tulog?~ kasama ba sa crush ang girlfriend? Oo. 13. Awayin ang school guard nyo?~oo. si dura, ung guard na matanda, prep plang ako inaaway ko na un. how i remember those days. nagpahabol pa ako. ~~ B. KAYA mo bang.. ~~ 1. Mag shop lift? -- hindi. mayaman ako eh. 2. Pindutin ung fire alarm sa bldg nio?~ nagawa ko na yan. buti nlng holliday un. 3. Tapikin sa balikat ung priest sasimbahan?~ oo naman. dali lng nun eh. 4. Patayin ung speaker o ungmicrophone ng teacher mo?~ oo. ngawa ko na din yan! 5. Matulog ng walang damit sa ibangbahay?~ oo. gawain ko yan sa bahay ng pinsan ko. 6. Dayain ang grades mo?~ ofcourse. kaya nga naimbento ang pangdodoktor eh. 7. Magbihis sa harap ng mga tao.~ yes yes yo 8. Itago ang phone ng kaibigan mo?~ hahaha. oo nman. 9. Mag pretend na galit sa friend mo?~ oo. dali lng nun. 10. Manutok ng baril?~ oo, ginawa ko na yan. sa kuya ko. gulat nga ako tinampal ako ng tatay ko eh. bka mabaril ko daw kuya ko. hahaha. ~~ C. BINALAK mo na bang? ~~ 1. Makipag live in sa bf/gf ng best friendmo?~ aY hinde... loyal ako eh. 2. Makipag date sa crush ng bestfriendmo?~ loyal ako. 3. Mang agaw ng bf/gf ng may bf/gf?~ hindi na. bakit pa. loyal eh. 4. Magtulak ng drugs?~ babalakin palang! hahaha! 5. Mag utos ng tao para pumatay?~ oo. si ben boga, ung siga sa kanto, bata ko un. 6. Magpanggap na patay ka na?~ oo. minsan invisible. 7. Mangolekta ng limos sa kalsada?~ oo. pag wlang pamasahe. 9. Maglagay ng patay na ipis sa upuanng kaaway mo?~ oo. haha. patay na ibon pa nga linagay ko eh. 10. Magpadala ng death threat?~ OO! hahaha! ~~ FINISH ~~ Bilangin mo ung YES mong sagot thenilagay mo satitle ng message na ito, kapag 15 pataasung yesmo, WELCOME TO THE CLUB ng mgataongmalalakas magtrip!!! 15+ Hayop ka, lahat nalang ng trip sabuhayginawa mo na.. ewan ko ba, siguromeron pa jangmas grabe na ginawa mo!! YOU'RE IN!!! 14 to 11 - malapit lapit ka na... kontinglakas nalang ng loob!! YOU'RE OUT! 10 - 7 - moody kang tao. wala lang. bastamaisipan mo yun na.. 6 - below - BORING KANG KASAMA!!!: / 27!!!!!!!!!!! ano ako demonyo? Listening to: tinatamad ako pumasok. Feeling: lakas trip kasi tamad |
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June 30th, 2005
time's up lazy boy! POSTED AT 12:02 AM guess what happened today? nothing. as in n-o-t-h-i-n-g nothing! i got to school early, i dont even know why i got there so early... i went to the ccs building,which is gokongwei if you were to ask, saw my blockmates impatiently waiting for the tutorials to start. they were even "paul, lika na dito. magtutorial ka na, sayang din yan." and i was like, "eh... ayoko nyan, wala akong gana mag aral eh. next time na." i let a golden opportunity pass me by because of being so pissed off at my self for failing another math test. what did i do for two long god damned hours? hang out with chaco in the library and read a really thick pablo neruda book. i didnt even know what the book was about, well, it has poetic shit there, but my mind was thinking of soooo many things i wasnt able to process what my eyes were seeing. im just so sick and tired of studying then failing. whats there to look forward to? im so sick and tired of everything!!! this life sucks! college life just isnt for me. i'd rather be seated in an armchair in a highschool classroom, than in an armchair, inside an airconditioned class room, in a university soooooooo far away from the place i call home. im tired of having to commute from here to that place where in the only thing i do is fail everything. another badthing, i havent been able to talk with monique properly for the third straight day. fucking sun cellular people! haaaaaaaay. and i dont have enough money to get her credits on her other sim... stupid me. she doesnt even get to say goodnight or anything nowadays. she just suddenly dozes off into dreamland. i cant blame her. she's as tired as i am. eventhough it takes only one jeepney or fx ride and a trike to get her to school, all the academic pressure ateneo has to offer has taken its toll on her. whoooooo. i have to get used to this no talk kind of days. its driving me insane!!! anyway, if happen to pass by monique, goodnight and i love you. (today's the 29th of june. 11:58pm) haaaaaaaaaaaaay. tired. what more can i ask for? Feeling: tired |
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June 30th, 2005
MISTAKES!!! POSTED AT 12:09 AM "the difference between greatness and mediocrity is how an individual views a mistake."-Nelson Boswell "never mistake knowledge for wisdom. one helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life."-Sandra Carey this one's for me.---> "FORGET PAST MISTAKES. FORGET FAILURES. FORGET EVERYTHING EXCEPT WHAT YOU'RE DOING RIGHT NOW AND DO IT."-William James Durant get a fix of life folks. read on these quotes for some inspiration.
Feeling: stupid. again! |
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