Entries for July, 2005
July 3rd, 2005
sleep all day. POSTED AT 08:03 PM tired and with out hope... thats how it feels. i keep on studying just to fail. im doing my best to study for the friggin tests, but i just keep on failing. like the math test, i studied for 3 days, only to find out i was 5 points away from passing. damn! yeah, i improved, so what? i still failed! another example, i stayed at school till 10pm just to find the friggin intprog exam sooooo goddamned hard! im not expecting anything anymore... and im loosing all hope to study. im just prolonging the inevitable. maybe i am destined to fail. too bad paul, too goddamned bad! im just so sick and tired of having to study, then i'd eventually fail. darn! looks like there's no light at the end of my tunnel. shit. this is it for now... i aint in the mood for nothing. gotta bounce shitheads. chill'. Listening to: awit ng saya- mymp Feeling: fucking stupid 1 disrespected me
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July 3rd, 2005
need motivation? POSTED AT 08:20 PM
"Succes
doesnt mean the absence of failures; it means the attainment of
ultimate objectives. It means winning the war, not every battle."
-Edward Bliss |
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July 3rd, 2005
not feelin so good. POSTED AT 10:35 PM failure. it makes me sick. i thought i was ready. but no, i rushed in too quickly for something i wasnt prepared to take on. college life was just an illusion then, and i was someone so excited to get there. now its slapping the hell out of me. its breaking me down, i always thought i was strong, and i could take on anything. but i guess, i was wrong... i always am. now i regret taking my highschool life forgranted. now i know what they were talking about. so this is it. this is what i was so excited to have. yes, i have freedom. but i also have burdens i never thought i would have to deal with. im doing my best now, but my best just isnt enough. i need something more. more effort i guess.
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July 4th, 2005
you're going down! POSTED AT 09:42 PM im sick... literally sick. as in., doped out sick. i have a reeeaaally sore throat, which hurts every time i sneeze, because i also have a 'nasal complication'... sipon in short. hahaha! i think im even going to have a really bad fever. hahaha! too bad asshole!!! whoooo... i dont think i'd even make it to school tomorrow. hahaha! wow... i'd be absent for the first time in my rather short college life i must say. hahaha. this is a day for first, first time i got sick in college, first year in college, first pep rally, first everything!!! whooo.
mom's comin back in a few days.. have a safe trip, so you'd still be able to see your worthless son, who's eventually going to fail college. sorry for wasting your money.
this is it for now. chill people. hope i get well soon. am+dg! Listening to: prom-sugar free Feeling: sick |
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July 4th, 2005
POSTED AT 10:06 PM loving someone deeply is when you smile for no reason at all. smile at every glance you take to see her pretty face. the face you dream about every night. the personality you swore to love beyond words. its just when you love that you sink deeper beyond reason. where reasons are more than answers. wherein reasons are uncertain emotions. and the right time is always too late... but still perfect.
we often do stupid things for love. who cares anyway? right? i'm stupid anyway... stupified by love.
LOVE KO' MONIQUE! Listening to: gusto- magnum opus Feeling: inlove... lagi naman eh. |
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July 5th, 2005
man down! man down! POSTED AT 09:46 PM IM SICK!!! tired and... obliviated! all i can feel is the agony of being sick. the obnoxious feeling that makes even the strongest of us weak. this sucks, i have a rather high fever, "ako ang hot ngayon eh", a sore throat, a bad case of nasal congestion.eeewww! hahaha! whoooo. so this is it for today. i hafta rest. it really feels good to know that people are concerned with how you're feeling. it lessens the pain.
"Never pray for an easier life... pray to be a stronger person. Never pray for tasks equal to your power, but for power to conquer your tasks." Listening to: nothing Feeling: sick, sore... still sick. |
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July 8th, 2005
yeah.. not going to school.... for the first time. POSTED AT 11:15 AM |
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July 8th, 2005
wise ass POSTED AT 11:25 PM the country is in peril. the philippines needs someone to lead it through this crisis. leaders are fighting for power. the opposition wants to overthrow the president. they dont want her leading or corrupting our already corrupted country. but who gives a damn?! every body does. this is our country and we should fight to free it from the trouble worthless leaders have gotten us into. the filipino people must again act as one to prove that we dont take orders from anybody. why am i saying this? so that i'd look like one of those concerned youth fuckers. i dont really care. im not affected anyway. who cares about politics? politics are for shitheads. for power hungry morons who dont know anything. i dont really care. they suck. hmmm... the more rallies held, the more classes are suspended. good trade off. anyway..bye fools. hope our country gets out of this shit hole. |
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July 9th, 2005
stupid POSTED AT 11:27 PM "youre being an ass about everything." some words of wisdom from my girlfriend. perfect. just what i needed in times where everything is going down the drain for me. i guess i even failed the only subject that i could pass. im an ass about everything. i am. that was really nice to hear, specially coming from your girlfriend. something real, something straight from the heart, with no hesitation at all. great. really. what can you expect from a failure like me anyway? more failures? tama... this title of a movie seems to suit my character, "sablay ka na, pasaway ka pa." great diba? (i got that 'great' expression from my baby.) im so tired with having to get up from every fall i take. it seems the falls hurt more everytime it happens, and i never ever get to learn a lesson. nice. teenagers never do. they, or should i say we, tend to repeat things even if we knew it was wrong. thats the reality of life. better suck on it. this is life. and we have to live through it. this is my destiny, and i feel like i was destined to fail. shit. "its when you hurt the worse that you love the most." Listening to: freestyler Feeling: mejo nasaktan? |
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July 9th, 2005
no uaap for you boy! POSTED AT 11:50 PM i was looking for two tickets. one for me and for my girlfriend. i asked my mom if she could get me complimentary tickets, she said yes. but too bad, she was too lazy to get them. fortunately, monica gets to watch the game. good for her. her blockmates got her a ticket. good job. hmmm... i wont be able to hang out at tani's tommorow, he'd be watching the game along with abby and marc. they were supposed to get me a ticket but i forgot to give them my id. thats why. hahaha. stupid. anyway. its ok. theres studio 23 naman. kaya i can watch it on t.v. wala parin ata akong school spirit. konti palang. dapat mejo damihan ko na. mga lagpas 50%. hahaha. kaya eto, para support sa school. ANIMO LASALLE. beat the fucking ateneans!(khit hindi sincere.) joseph yeo and jv casio will kick the heart out of those atenean shitheads! hahahaha! that felt good. anyway... i still cant stop thinking about monica. i've given her everything i can, mas inuuna ko na nga sya sa sarili ko eh. tapos wala papala akong effort. GREAT! super duper mega da over great. goodluck to you and enjoy the UAAP.
ANIMO LA SALLE! |
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July 10th, 2005
selfish me... POSTED AT 12:27 PM i listen to nobody except my self... i believe this is wrong. way too wrong. i dont even listen to myself nowadays. i listen to my girlfriend more than i listen to my parents and my self. and then, you'll tell me i listen to nobody except me?! great. good for you. thanks for understanding my situation. GREAT!!!!!! i even think of her before i think of my self, if that is selfishness, then i am selfish. im a bad man.awwww. too bad. sabagay, how can i judge my own self? another thing,nakikipagbati na nga, ayaw pa. great again! nagsosorry na nga eh. haaaaaaaaaaaaay. stupid ka paul! ambobo mo! ayaw nga tanggapin ung sorry mo eh, sorry ka pa ng sorry. nagpapakatanga ka na nyan. anyway. sige. next time. wala na ding text text noh. yeahright. "madamot pala ako." (whew!) Feeling: pleased |
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July 11th, 2005
July 14th, 2005
unanswered... POSTED AT 11:43 PM >>How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there? >>Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket? >>Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them? >>Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time? >>Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup? >>Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"? >>Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse? >>Can you get cornered in a round room? >>In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she? >>Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been free? >>If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes? >>Why did Mary own a little lamb? >>Why do they call the small candy bars the "fun sizes"? Wouldn't be more fun to eat a big one? >>Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey? >>Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do? >>Why do most people put more effort into their wedding than their actual marriage? >>Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldnt they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"? >>Is there anything easier done than said? >>What are those little things on the end of your shoelaces called? >>Why do we feel blue? and what color does a smurf feel when they are down? >>Why do British people never sound British when they sing? >>Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside? >>How do you know which armrest is yours in the movie theaters? >>Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes? PS: Umamin na: after reading this, you tried to breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time. hehehe. Feeling: restless |
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July 14th, 2005
blah blah blah POSTED AT 11:45 PM walang masulat eh. sorry. pagod na... magaaral pa ako. ay, meron na pala... walang kwenta teacher sa math. bastusan. aral na aral na ako eh. argh! fucker! ayan lang muna lahat. chill. Feeling: yamot! |
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July 15th, 2005
hakuna matata POSTED AT 12:15 AM "hakuna matata" a problem free philosphy. from the flick lion king. this line was made famous by timon and pumba. now... we use it. HAKUNA MATATA! it means no worries... for the rest of your days. come what may! great song by ogie alcasid. id rather be green. hahaha! perfect for lasallista's! here's a preview of the lyrics... cant find any eh. bilib ako sa layo ng iyong narating. di gaya ng iba, satsat lng ng satsat. pagdating sa basketball la namang binatbat dribble ng dribble di naman makashoot sa strike lng ni paeng, buhok nila'y kukulot. if i were to live my whole again, id still want to be a lasallista parin bayaran man ako, i will still say to you, id rather be green than be blue! (eto pa) kawawa naman ang mga iba diyan, nag tutulung tulungan di naman yumayaman, manager chairman, presidente daw sila... ngunit lasallista ang may ari ng kompanya. (eto pa ulit) mga hindi lasallista, daldal lng ng daldal, wag kang magtataka kung bakit binaril si rizal...(bakit binaril) Atenista eh. hahahahah! tama na, nagenjoy naman ako. revenge... so sweet. hahahaha! ayan... hmmm... ano pa ba? kanina, i went to school early, i had to study for the should be math quiz, trix was kind enough to teach me. so sa lib kami. then we saw tani,benman and chryselle. they were studying din. hahaha. pero lumayo kami. mahirap na magsama sama... magulo eh. hahaha! ayan, so the math quiz was called off because some iteo people had to come. iteo stands for something. i forgot lang. hahaha! dang! so... un, went home early, badluck struck, lang aircon ung lrt. BULOK! putek! tapos, i saw toper sa MRT line 2, ung recto to santolan. so un... kwentuhan.hahaha. tapos, i had to go to mcdo because i had to pick monique up para sabay kami uuwi. hehe. we ate at chiggy's katipunan, had a good time, enjoy naman ang aming conversation, hahaha! just like old times. how i miss those days. anyway... i end my day with a tired body, as always... goodnight folks!
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July 15th, 2005
monique, this one's for you. POSTED AT 12:32 AM I believe think about it So if you’d still go, i’ll understand Time has come i feel so cold So if you’d still go, i’ll understand Now that you’re gone, im all alone Listening to: stay- cueshe Feeling: extremely sad |
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July 16th, 2005
POSTED AT 07:35 PM laughter is contagious. smiles flashing all around. this is life with you. now i lay in this moon lit room, i feel the obnoxious feeling of loneliness. this is life. so lonely without you. how i wish to see you now. how i miss your mesmerizing smile. the beauty that is you.
but i know, sometime in the near future, you're going to leave for somewhere. tears will fall, souls will toil, from your departure they will all bow. my world will stop, the very time you leave me for that town. i dont know what to say, you are leaving me anyway.
after a long long time, you may come back, with your family im sure. with kids so cute and restless.
this was just a dream, for me. but for you... it all came true.
"dreams are never meant to be. maybe thats why, you're leaving...
Listening to: STAY! - cueshe Feeling: scared |
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"July 17th, 2005
masarap bang magmahal? POSTED AT 12:39 AM oo siyempre. pero ano bang mas gusto ng tao? mag mahal... pero after a while masasaktan din ng sobra sobra. o hindi mag mahal, and live life happily ever after. dun na ako sa mag mahal, tapos masasaktan. normal naman yan eh. dba? anyway. wala... naisip ko lng. goodnyt.=D Feeling: masakit ba paul? |
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July 17th, 2005
juan tamad is in the house! POSTED AT 11:03 PM Feeling: tinatamad |
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July 17th, 2005
hindi na dapat umasa pa. POSTED AT 11:31 PM life is useless... its a great waste of time. haaaaaaaay....
there is no forever. forever is just a lie. the only time we have is from the time we say hello, until the time we say goodbye. you cant hang on something special for too long... it would only hurt more the longer you hold on to it. we have to do things while we still can, or else, we will be left wandring why we didnt do it when we had the time. we shouldnt hold on to anything. nor anyone... sometimes... we just have to learn to let go.
"love me for who i am, and for who i will become." DREAMS WERE NEVER MEANT FOR US. can you see the sorrow in my eyes? i hope not. i hope you enjoy every smile i flash... you never know, it may be the last.
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July 18th, 2005
18. POSTED AT 10:37 PM 18. today is the 18th of july... good. monique went to the us embassy. got her visa... which is i guess a single entry visa. which means! she's staying in the US for good. well, i hope she didnt lie to the consul by saying that she would only be going there every summer break, and, sem breaks.... whoooo. good for her. goodluck baby.
Feeling: di ko alam |
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July 18th, 2005
18... POSTED AT 10:42 PM 18. happy monthsary monica nicole. love you.-paul. |
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July 19th, 2005
goodness gracious! great balls of fire! POSTED AT 11:28 PM wanna spell punyeta with me? start with the letter P-U-N-Y-E-T-A! punyeta! just when i was in the mood to attend the friggin tutorials, tska icacancell. great! hmmmm... siyeet... part 2 of the intprog midterms is on saturday. i dont even no anything yet. and i have a 30/100 grade for recitation. great... Adjustment week! HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!!!!! im guessing, im going to have to take intprog again. nice one... hahahaha! hmmm... this day isnt the nicest of days... great. is this a fair trade? check it out... your boyfriend, for a bunch of papers to be photocopied? hmmm... i dont know... maybe? ewan. thats just great. diba? while on the other hand... i am the great "chaperone". she's my boss, and i am her humble servant. her every wish, is my command. hahahaha. thats how much i love my baby.. im willing to do anything stupid for her... pero shempre, dpat physically possible naman. baka sabihin niya, tumalon ako sa building, bobo ko kpag ginawa ko un. she hates me that much? wag naman sana... great, people. now you can compare me with photocopying stuff. hahaha. tumatamad nanaman ako. hahaha! magaling. "trash are meant to be thrown away... but not people."
Listening to: here i am - marion raven Feeling: patapon |
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July 19th, 2005
trash - basura POSTED AT 11:43 PM |
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July 20th, 2005
obvious na ba na wala akong magawa? POSTED AT 12:09 AM "GOOD IS THE ENEMY OF GREAT!" why do some people want to get to the top? parang it means everything to them? dont they know, that if it isnt meant for them, they're not getting it? dreamers... "dreams are never meant to be." so that means, were just fantasizing on something that we couldnt get. why is that so? i dont know. the hell i know? i read this from somewhere... "a man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do." great... inspirational huh? why oh why... why
cant we just live a life of perfect harmony? wherein there are no
contradictions. where, dreams come true in a blink of an eye. why?
because God wont let us live a life like that. we are too unworthy and
stupid for such life. we humans are too stupid to be given such
freedom. God knows that... for sure he does. great... stop
whining, and be a man paul... you know that when God closes a door, he
opens a window... lets just hope, the window is big enough for me.
hahaha!=D chill. |
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July 20th, 2005
peice of cake.... POSTED AT 10:37 PM that was supposed to be shit... but i was kind enough to change it. just finished talking with monique... nothing special about it... well, the new thing was, we didnt get to talk the whole god damned day. it seems like its ok with her. so why should i worry? i dont know... anyway... im not in the mood for anything... i seem so pissed off at everything. haaaaaaaaay. great!tomorrow, another, "no comm" day for us i guess. haaaaaaay. good for the world. ingat nalang people!
i've just made up my mind. i will go to school early tomorrow, and I
WILL STUDY FOR INTPROG!!!! I WILL GOD DAMN IT!!! I WILL!!! sana lang i
learn something... haaaaaaaay! goodluck to you pablo! Listening to: the day you said goodnight Feeling: pissed off? |
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July 20th, 2005
POSTED AT 10:40 PM
"imma fry your ass like a chicken... and imma use my pinky to shut you DOWN!" thats a line from a sylvester stalone movie... hehehe. i think, the other guy is.... i forgot his name.. but he's a black guy. hehehe.=D |
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wala lang. hahaha.=DJuly 22nd, 2005
too little, too late... POSTED AT 10:18 AM Feeling: lazy |
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July 23rd, 2005
lets get loud!!!!!!! POSTED AT 12:38 AM i remember... the first night of september... (nanananana) ayyyiyaa! dancing in september!!!!!!!!!! hahaha...
haay...crazy ass... wla na talagang pagasa... 55/100 sa first part ng midterm sa intprg... great. tsangena! how are you going to pass the god damned subject foo'? saw mitch in mcdo... great. mini reunion. with jiggy and boritz suddenly showing up. what a surprise... the last time i saw mitch nga pala, was, aside from the boracay summer get a way, was when we took the acet. which, we eventually failed, thats why were studying in lasalle( for me..) and mitch in csb. whoooo. goodnews... intprog midterm part2: the thriller was moved till next saturday. great! mas matagal kakabahan. pwede ba! lets just get on with life. parang buhay lang kasi ang life. haaaaaaaay. this sucks... well, atleast, i get to study longer.. then i fail... AGAIN!...
great... this is it for now. babush. chuva choo choo. Feeling: surprised |
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July 23rd, 2005
bumuhos ka ulan.... POSTED AT 01:50 PM bumuhos ka ulan ang mundo ko'y lunuring tuluyan... haaaaaaaay... its raining so hard. cant go to marist and play ball... darn! maybe later... hmmm.. i hope its not raining over at UP, my baby's there and she might have a hard time going home... tsk tsk tsk.. i love that girl soooo much... anyway... i have a lot to do, so this is it for now. chill. sinong di mababaliw sa ulan? may narecieve akong joke. mabangis. kung may aaway,mananakit,aapi o mag papaiyak sayo, tandaan mo... "BULLET DAY i will GIANT YOU!" in other words.. "BALANG ARAW, ipaghiHIGANTE KITA!" HAHAHAHAHA! |
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July 23rd, 2005
POSTED AT 10:43 PM how do you bleed? great. 2-2. lasalle won over Adamson just a while ago. and finally, joseph yeo got to score. in double figures atleast... bleed green. |
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July 23rd, 2005
who would have thought? POSTED AT 11:07 PM every night i dream of
you. through out my life, you'd be the one. my inspiration, my one and
only love. you light up ever moment in my life. i enjoy every moment
spent with you. you may not notice... who would have thought, it was you
i loved the most. every moment with you is euphoric. though it may seem
that i donot care as much, i hope you figure out. i love you too much.
words dont mean a thing, i go deeper beyond reason, but still, i cannot
explain what i feel for you. forgive me if i have done the worst of
things. im just human... and so are you.
Feeling: wlang mgawa. |
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July 24th, 2005
to be or not to be... POSTED AT 09:19 PM that is the question...everybody wants to play in the la salle athletic league. many tried, but only a few are chosen. fortunately, i am one of them. but im confused... to play, or not to play... im just an average student... im not a genius or anything, im having a hard time in getting decent grades. what more if i play? well, most of the people say i should go on with the lsal, who knows? it might be the opportuninty im waiting for to be able to play for the archers? what a dreamer... but who knows? right.... confused... tell me what to do... please! Feeling: confused |
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July 25th, 2005
a school faster than satan. POSTED AT 10:22 PM De La Salle University-Manila, a school faster than satan. its trimestral system is so fast paced, freshmen student like me, who came from quarterly/semestral schools have a hard time adjusting. 4 weeks from the start of the term is the midterms, and after 6 weeks, finals week is on. definitely fast paced. Thats it, i was just so pissed off at reading 7 chapters of my book and studying for programming at the same time. WHOooooooooooo! tired... again. atleast i aint sleepy yet. my eyes hurt... i dont know why.. i badly need glasses. chill. Feeling: tired |
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July 25th, 2005
greatness POSTED AT 10:54 PM |
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July 26th, 2005
late for school. once again. POSTED AT 10:03 AM  Listening to: we belong together Feeling: tinatamad |
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July 26th, 2005
so close... yet so far. POSTED AT 10:41 PM only a couple of meters seperate you from each other, yet, it seems that you're worlds apart. thats what i felt just a while ago. i was on my way to school, regular day for me. but then... the regular routine changed... i saw monique and her mom at the katipunan
station, i really wanted to talk with monique... but to no avail,
i couldnt, afraid what her mom might say. so what now? we acted like we
didnt know each other... all i had were painfully long stares at my
beautiful girlfriend. i couldnt even have a decent look at her face
because of my suddenly poor eye sight. haaaaaaaaaaaaay. so close, yet
so far... a perfect description of what happened this morning.. i love
that girl sooooooooo much. and it hurts me when i see her, and little
old me cant do anything to even talk to her... i wonder what they call
'fear of girlfriends parents?' hehehe. Feeling: wasted |
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July 27th, 2005
BUSY MAN. POSTED AT 10:04 PM SCHEDULE FOR THIS WEEK AND NEXT WEEK. TOMORROW: THURSDAY JULY 28, 2005: INTRICT TEST!!!!!!!!!! (panic mode!!!) SATURDAY JULY 30, 2005 9:00am-12:00nn INTPROG TEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (super mega da over panic mode!!!! i dont know how to analyze a problem yet!)
FRIDAY NEXT WEEK, AUGUST 5, 2005: ALGTRIG TEST!!!!! (there's still time to study!! not super panic mode yet.) shit... multi-tasking mode again. studying for the
departamental exam tomorrow and the up coming thriller in gokongwei,
specially for ICTM students, the INTPROG midterm exam part 2: the
revenge of Allan Chu. Can you feel
the heat of hell touch your skin? get ready... Reading: intrict book and reviewer Listening to: midnight at the oasis Watching: how to program java shit Feeling: shocked |
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July 27th, 2005
dont see me studying? here's why. POSTED AT 11:53 PM fails in his subjects." Bakit naman? Sagot nila, "Because the year only has 365 days." And when you take these factors/things into consideration.... 1. Sundays - 52 Sundays in a year. Sunday is rest day. therefore... DAYS LEFT: 313. 2. Summer - 50 days of very hot weather. mahirap daw mag-aral kapag mainit. DAYS LEFT: 263. 3. Sleep - Kailangan ng 8 hours araw- araw, hindi ba? Calculate, this equals to 130 days. DAYS LEFT: 141. 4. Relaxation - kailangan mo ng isang oras per day, sabi nila. (good for health) means 15 days. DAYS LEFT: 126. 5. Pagkain - tatlong meals, snacktime, 2 hours estimate para doon. (dapat chew properly). Bilangin mo, equal to 30 days. DAYS LEFT: 96. 6. Chit-Chat - "man is a social animal". So sabihin na nating isang oras per araw kang nakikipang-chikahan. means 15 days. DAYS LEFT: 81. 7. Exams - per year, mga 35 exam days. DAYS LEFT: 46. 8. Festivals/holidays/araw para sa RALLY o MOB - 37 days. BALANCE: 9 DAYS. 9. Illness - nagkakasakit ka rin naman minsan, hindi ba? Sabihin na nating apat na araw kada taon. REMAINING DAYS: 5. 10. Organization - siyempre may mga org activities pa. So 4 na araw para dun, sabihin natin. 1 DAY LEFT 11. Tapos, that 1 day is your special day. How can you study at that day? Natitirang araw: 0, null, nada, none "SO, san mo isisingit ngayon ang pag- aaral?!? Ha, cge nga!?!?" piprint ko toh, papakita ko sa nanay koh, sasabihin koh "ma yan ang pruweba kya lagi mo ako nakikitang di nag-aaral"! yahoo! Feeling: lazy |
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July 29th, 2005
SHIT. eto lng msasabi ko. POSTED AT 12:02 AM |
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July 29th, 2005
sa likod ng mga ngiti... POSTED AT 12:33 AM Whats with the smile nigger... wanna know? theres a lot of things happening behind this stupid smile i flash. problems, stuff that distract me, everything... im ok? no? what? cant tell how im feelin e'? good job. chill. ngiti ko'y mapanlinlang. di mo alam kung anong dinaramdam. panay ang ngiti, wala namang saysay. tinatago lang pala, tunay na nararamdaman. tama bang ako'y tratuhing ganito? tila ata ako'y natutuliro. ginagawa mo'y di makatarungan. ilang salita lamang ang makakapagpatunay. sabihin mo nga, mahal mo ba ako? isa lang ang gustong marinig, ibulong mo sa akin, matamis mong "oo." buhay ko'y bigyan liwanag. kung hindi mo na ako mahal, sabihin na ito sa akin, wag nang antayin buong mundo'y lunurin ng luhang buhat ng sakit. eto lang ang aking masasabi, "kapag gusto ay maraming paraan, kapag ayaw ay maraming dahilan." basahin at intindihin... lintik lang ang walang ganti. shit. lang magawa. makata ba? whatcha say? haha. chillax. theres no hope in ever being together. people can give a lot of excuses huh? things are going badly, their slowly getting out of control. grades are dropping like the country's economy... shit... there's only one bright spot left,and i have to take it before it slips away from my grasp. help me get through this puddle of cow shit oh Most Holy and Ever so Powerful Father... You're the only one i can ask for guidance. NO ONE seems to care. i say no one. i mean NO ONE! life is not going well these days.... holy cow!!! gotta sleep. chill. 
Listening to: fallen on deaf ears-urbandub Feeling: stressed |
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July 30th, 2005
one time big time! POSTED AT 01:31 AM great... i get a 73 for one quiz.... then, a 30 on the next. jeez! one time,big time. argh! check this... 32, 55, 73 then a menacingly low 30 on the latest quiz!!!!!!!!!!! shiiiiiiiiit! what the fuck is wrong with the world? things havent been going the way i want them to... definitely not the way i want them to. its the exact opposite! huwaw! lets start things off with my academics... yes, i maybe academically challenged. but why on earth would i fail in a quiz which i studied for, four days in advanced??? how!!!! eto lang yan eh... NADAPA NA, BUMANGON, NADAPA ULIT... BABANGON SANA, PERO, TOO BAD, LINIBING AT TINABUNAN HABANG BUHAY PA... BABANGON SA LIBINGAN? WELL, NAG TAYO PA NG MALL SA IBABAW NG PINAG TABUNAN SAYO!!!! huwaw! want another one? eto... I WAS CLIMBING A STEEP MOUNTAIN... SLOWLY, GETTING TO THE TOP, 32-55-73... GREAT HUH... BUT THEN, STUPID OLD ME, WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM SATAN, CAME DOWN FALLING ON THAT STEEP MOUNTAIN, WITH NO HOPE OF EVER COMING BACK. hardcore huh? it is... now lets get to another problem... well... i wont talk about it here... here's just a few words i must say. "separation", "hatred", "temper", "lack of communication", and definitely, "MISUNDERSTANDING!" why must these things happen simultaneously? happening one after the other... with no warning at all. problems just keep on coming... just like how rivers flow... someone needs to help me make a damn, to stop the water from just flowing through and eventually drown me to death. im bloody... someone needs to make the bleeding stop. please. help me! "i feel like I've been chewed up, spit out, and booed of stage!"
what the hell is wrong with the world. somethings got to give right? this is hell at its finest... where's my angel who's going to save my soul from eternal damnation... i badly need you know. yet, there you are, looking at things im doing and misinterpreting them... im doing this because i have to help my self get out of hell. if you wont help me... then its up to me to do the rest... sink or swim? whats your call paul? "Academics has definitely kicked the bejesus out of me..." "personal problems are taking their toll on me. where am i heading?" the question is... AM I STILL UP FOR THE CHALLENGE?! Reading: cheating death. Listening to: bye bye bye Watching: my whole life flash before my eyes. Feeling: down. in hell. what else? |
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July 31st, 2005
help me reach the stars POSTED AT 02:02 AM I have you in the palm of my hands, yet i was too stupid to hold on softly. Now I have no one. You seem to be beyond my grasp. Lift me up... Help me reach the star that you are now. You bring light to my life. I need you once more. To brighten up the darkest of my days. Let me hold your hand, and expect of me to never let go...
"i tried my best, but it wasnt good enough." |
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