lighter side of things
POSTED AT 10:17 PM

badasspaul

    sooo... its been a good day. i think. hmmmm... i've had only 3 hours of decent sleep. and its ok. had fun. so... dad brought me to school today. dropped my stuff off at the dorm. then went directly to class. algtrig... then mcdo, abby came then we waited for tani. we saw reena then i asked trixia to come over. hehe. trixia and i passed our project proposal, which by the way, is composed by the one, the only.... me. hahahaha.

    went to the dorm to play games, then when i was ready to go to introso class, miss go wasnt there. hahaha. trixia even took the liberty of texting me that there wouldnt be an introso class... too bad i was there behind her na. hahaha! time went by, formdev, english class.... na na na na na.... we ate at dondons. then made tambay. we werent satisfied with our tambay, so trix and i decided to waste time infront of yuchengco... we talked about a lot of stuff. hahahaha. eventually, hours passed us by. haha. great. then, we went home na. what a day. now i hafta get some sleep, saliksik day tomorrow. better get ready. hahaha.

 

 im watching you watch over me and i've got the greatest view from here.

theres something missing
POSTED AT 08:17 PM

badasspaul

    I have this terrible feeling that something's missing. cant really point out what. i feel clueless. i dunno whats wrong with me. give me a hint please. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. jeeeez. what is this feeling, something i havent felt for a loooonng loooong time now.

    so. saliksik day... the morning part was partly boring, it had its pros and cons. it was sleepy but never the less, i still got to meditate, even though i fell asleep while doing so. jeez. hahahaha. soooooo, it was the afternoon part that rocked. there was this game, it was really cool. i died, pero thanks to errol, i was safely brought to the safe spot. what a day. and a lot of people squished me. literally, someone was even stepping on my ankle which hurt a lot. jeeez. masakit. all in all the day was a blast. had an ultimate bonding session with my block.

    so... after saliksik, abby, dianne, tani, ric along with me went to ice monster to cool down. after that, i went to mildreds because trix cams kathy and zyonic was there. so we wasted time... again.

here i am, at the end of my day, still, somethings missing. and i still dont know what it is. clues??? please. 

 Sisilipin, uulitin lang
Aawatin, bibigay naman
Sana ay di na pinagtagpo ng ating Diyos
Tulungan mo ako
Sa tuwing siya ay nakikita, ako’y nagwawala
Pagka’t sa kanyang mga ngiti, ako sumusuko

Konting tulak ay iibig na
Sa maghapon ay nakatawa
Ngunit sinabi ko sa akin
Ayoko na sanang maging
Iyakin nanaman ako
Sa tuwing kami’y magkasama
Ako’y natutuwa
Pagkat sa kanyang mga mata
Ako’y sumusuko

Biglang luluha pag wala na siya
Sandali lang, di na makita
Alam ko na naman ito
Nakita ko ito sa palabas ang luha ko
Sa tuwing siya ay umaalis
Ako’y nagtitiis
Pagkat sa kanyang mga ngiti
Ako’y sumusuko

 

Listening to: awit para sa kanya
Feeling: exhausted

tsk tsk tsk
POSTED AT 09:44 AM

badasspaul

From Mick Deles (courtside reporter of the de la salle
green archers):

Green Sees Red
SPY BIZ By S.A. Maguire
The Philippine Star 10/04/2005

A lot of people have noticed that the Green Archers
haven't been humble in victory and haven't been
gracious in defeat either. In their second game with
Ateneo, Archer Ryan Arana's Jezebelic belly-dancing
rubbed salt on the Blue Eagle's wounds. In whose harem
did he learn to gyrate like that anyway? In the third
game, Coach Franz Pumaren unnecessarily called a
time-out with just a few seconds left to display his
winning team to the fans. And in the first finals game
last Thursday, a nationwide audience saw La Salle
assistant team manager Manny Salgado's infamous
"batok" on Arwind Santos. FEU coach Bert Flores then
chased Salgado who ran like a frightened cat. Our La
Salle Greenhills Spy-Ring disclosed that Salgado is
from HS Class '78. In their drive to be champions
again, the Green Archers and staff may have forgotten
the basics of sportsmanship. Because of this, many
have started to root for an FEU victory according to
TV surveys taken over the weekend. It's clearly a case
of the greens seeing red then turning purple.
Naturally, this has made the Eagles fly high and away
from their blues enjoying every minute of their
rival's biggest faux pas.


MY REACTION (Mick Deles):

This is harsh but sadly is just one of the many
articles being written about the DLSU Archers after
the “incident” last Thursday.  In
yesterday's STAR (October 4), Dong Puno likewise gave
his piece on the whole Salgado issue, implying that
Sir Manny wasn't sincere with his apology and saying
that Joseph Yeo was the only one seen trash talking on
video.  He based everything on the short video clip
that was being played and replayed by the various news
programs but if he was actually at the venue, watching
the game, then he'd know that Arwind is not a
saint..he was actually given a warning by the refs for
taunting.



This is the moment that everyone has been waiting for,
especially the Ateneans.  They lost to us three times
this season, a very painful loss for those from the
blue side.  They could not say anything about those
games because we beat them bad, now this issue gives
them a chance to get back at us.  Sadly they are
taking a very human error and blowing it up into
monstrous proportions making it seem as if only
someone from La Salle could commit such a mistake.
What people are failing to realise is that by judging
and condemning us they are no better, they are falling
into the same trap. Our mistake was a physical action,
their weapon of choice are words.  “Let he who is
without sin cast the first stone” - we
acknowledged our mistake, we acknowledge our faults.
We are only human but for some odd reason they are
forgetting that so are they -   human beings capable
of making the same mistakes.  The shame is now on them
for casting stones with equally sinful hands.



P.S.  The implication of such columns is that Coach
Franz, being the head coach of the Archers is
responsible for the "unethical" behaviour of the
team...hmmm....



On Ryan’s dance:  Boys will be boys!  This is
college basketball where emotions inevitably run high.
We are forgetting that teams in this league are
comprised of teenagers who are still at the prime of
their lives trying to enjoy their youth.  Many of
these columnists and critics – be they alumni or
not are parents with their own adolescent children,
they of all people should understand teenagers who are
at this stage of their lives.  Sure it may have been
wrong to some extent, but Ryan was just trying to
enjoy the game.  These guys work their butts off
everyday, the least we can give them is enough space
to be young men.  Even coach said this after the game,
boys will be boys although he knew that it wasn't the
best thing to do but he acknowledged that this is the
UAAP where antics like this are all a part of the
emotional journey of a college league such as this.
For those who are unaware, Arwind did a little dance
too during Game 1 of the Finals, I don't see anyone
making a big deal out of it.  Sure, he was just "doing
a ryan" to piss us off but do you see anyone whining
about it from our side?  No, because we let them be,
they are just young boys after all.



On Coach Franz:  I have the deepest respect for Coach
Franz because despite what everyone says, in spite of
all the nasty talk that goes on about him he never
allows this to faze him. What many don't see or hear
is what goes on during practices, in the dugout and
even in the huddles when Coach is with his boys alone
without the prying eyes of the media or nosey
columnists. He is a doting father to these 14 young
men and he teaches them to be tough because of people
like Maguire who have nothing better to do but rejoice
in the wrongs of others.  Coach knows what everyone
says about him and his team and he uses this as his
fuel to deliver.  In my two years as their courtside
never have I heard him say anything to his team that
would make them think that they are the best, never
was there a time that I felt that he was making his
team believe that they were invincible and therefore
should boast when they win or appear bitter in defeat.
He has done nothing but bring out the best in his
boys year after year, game after game. He has trained
them to play with heart.  He has trained them to play
with undying passion.  All he has ever wanted from his
boys is for them to play what they are capable of
playing…he just wants them to shine as they
should.  Where is the crime in that?    To all those
out there who claim to know how the Archers are
trained just shut-up because you know nothing.



"Naturally, this has made the Eagles fly high and away
from their blues enjoying every minute of their
rival's biggest faux pas" - Where is the honor in
this?  Where is the honor in savoring every minute of
someone else's mistake?  Where is the honor in basking
in the satisfaction of knowing that your arch rivals
are being laughed at, hated and condemned?  What kind
of sick person will forget his/her blues at the
expense of someone else's misery?  Who is being
ungracious in defeat now??!!!


>>-animo la salle->

pina-edit ni tani. KORNI ka!
POSTED AT 10:15 AM

badasspaul

so... it all started after classes... then, the whole tani thing ended at around 9pm. we even waited for tani till late at night just to get the full story...haha. anyway, we planned it anyway. dba trix?

so this is the really rude part. after the thing, it was raining really hard. so we decided to make tambay  in lasalle till around ten, when it wasnt raining that hard anymore, we decided to leave. but to our surprise, taft avenue was god damned flooded!!! we decided to walk to my dorm, i got trixia a jacket so she wouldnt get wet. then, when we were about to bring trixia home, darn, the water along estrada street was shitty! trixia took the trike back to her dorm and i think she was really pissed off with what happened, she got wet with rain and flood. jeeez.sorry.

after getting back to tani, we went infront of madison for tani to hitch a ride, but hell broke loose! tani got stranded. we decided to eat at a pares over at vito cruz, now pablo ocampo street. tani didnt get to go home till around 12 midnight. we were just standing along taft.... "singing in the rain!" hahaha! kulet. 

saturday... hmmmm... decided to play at sports complex, my lsal team mates were there.. had a pretty good game, i just have to improve on my endurance, i get pretty bad cramps after 2hours or so...  hmmmm.. idol felgar (originally edgar), said i should eat bananas. hahaha. potassium? anyway...

after that, went back to the dorm to get a shower... trixia wanted to eat outside and i just wanted to downright eat, so we headed for the japanese resto we ate at yesterday, she brought aisne, her room mate along  with her. hehehe. then they wanted to watch honey... AGAIN. hahaha. i saw the movie already, with tani abby marc and dianne. guess where we watched the movie? there, in the japanese resto. hahaha!

so thats it... hahahaha. this is pretty long. its been a long weekend anyway... chillax!!

saw mitch nga pla while crossing taft avenue. hahaha! natawa na lang kami kasi umiiling kami pareho. hahaha! she is still, d.d.g. hahahaha! mitch! incase you read this, may bayad toh! 

 

They said you wouldn't make is so far
And ever since they said it, it's been hard
But nevermind the nights you had to cry
Cause you have never let it go inside
You worked real hard
And you know exactly what you want and need
So believe and you can never give up
You can reach your goals
Just talk to your soul and say…

I believe I can
I believe I will
I believe I know my dreams are real
I believe I'll chant
I believe I'll dance
I believe I'll grow real soon and
That is what I do believe
 

Feeling: tired

blankness
POSTED AT 09:09 PM

badasspaul

   

    got to school just right for sociology... even had time to review, which was useless because my blockmates kept on pestering me... so, we had a test on culture and society... it seem that i have a 49-51 chance of passing. good enough. there were times where i would find my self looking at a particular person. jeeez. i hope i passed.

     practiced tango after classes. hirap! buhol buhol na paa ko! jeeez. practical test tomorrow. goodluck to me. went to rob ermita after that, with tani, kathy, and trix. too bad camsie wamsie wasnt able to come. we watched lord of war. Super.......... basta. haaaaay. im glad its all over. thanks to you.
 

Feeling: thankful

all eyes on me.
POSTED AT 10:45 AM

badasspaul

    im getting really nervous... all eyes are on me. everybody expecting me to play great ball. but im not that kind of person, im just me? jeeez. im having my blockmates write their names on my shoes. my ballistix, i seldom use it na eh. so ill just put it in my room for display, or maybe use it for a game or two. im really not so sure about using my ballistix in games, i've had quite a number of accidents with it on. dating back to my last year at marist, i got this shoe, and through out the year, i got 4 out of my 6 ankle sprains with it... SCARY! but with your name on it, im sure its gonna make things better.

 

     confused about this shitty feeling, havent felt this since last febuary. its all coming back. but this time its different. my body seems to want to throw up the past and enjoy the present, and find out what the future has in store for me.. oh! and i want that  to happen. NOW NA! haaaaaaaaaaaaay.

 

    nervous, confused... i dont know why they're all happening at the same time. gotta click man, i have math class in 15 minutes, boo yah!

 

 

Listening to: love moves in mysterious ways
Feeling: late for class!

ouchie!mig
POSTED AT 01:48 PM

badasspaul

woke up with a really really really bad head ache. migrane to be exact... it felt like someone was drilling my head open. it hurt so much that i wasnt able go to my math class because i couldnt get up because of the pain. argh! so, its my break right now, i have to get some rest so that i'd be able to play properly later. all eyes are on me. jeeez!

 

this isnt my day. i can tell. gotta click. 

weekender
POSTED AT 05:57 PM

badasspaul

last night, we lost by 5 pts to the second year players in ccs. why? the court was wet. i mean REALLY wet. i tried to remember my score, so... hmmm, im not sure, but i think i made 2 field goals, and 3/4 free throws. hmmm.. that adds up to 7 pts. right? tsk... bad!

 so... just a while ago, we went to GK baseco housing, we built a house, well, its not finished, but we kinda helped doing it. hehe.

 

its my birthday in 2 days... wow! hehe! hmmm.. what do i want for my birthday? PEACE ON EARTH! hahaha... i've been saving my money for nike free shoes, but i guess it wouldnt be enough. hehe. im not expecting any gift from anyone... its the thought that counts naman eh, i just want to be happy on my birthday, which includes the passing of our project proposal and someother shit. happy? i guess i wont be that happy. hahaha.

 

"sometimes we look so far for answers that are right infront of us."

15 minutes before the gago day
POSTED AT 11:49 PM

badasspaul

salamat sa mga bumati way ahead of time.

ema, pam hotness, tani patani, abby, calysta,  room mates renz, alex and inno, ara... un plang nkakaalala eh. hehe. hindi na dapat alalahanin. hehe. salamat. 

12:00 naaaaaaaaaaa
POSTED AT 12:02 AM

badasspaul

birthday ko naaaaaaaaaaa. hahaha.

nerbyoso?
POSTED AT 11:14 AM

badasspaul

kase mahal kita hindi mo pa alam

its been quite a while
POSTED AT 11:03 AM

badasspaul

   

    hmm. came back from lab. i have tons of stuff to do... i have to go back to school in 30 minutes for my next, and only class. hehe. so... whats up 2 days after my 17th birthday?

 birthday... october 17, 2005... everybody greeted me a happy birthday... blockmates, relatives, friends... wuhoooo. hehe. there's this "someone" who didnt stop greeting me till 11:59 pm. hehe. you know who you are.

 so, on the 18th, someone texted me to say happy birthday... kinda late, but its ok. she thought it was the 17th. hehe. better late than never. and i thought she totally forgot about me...

 im still in some kind of dilemma with the fact that borj is leaving the country. we've known each other since first year highschool... we've spent so much time together. now, she's leaving... argh! the pain! the sorrow... haaaaaay monica. goodluck sa life sa states.:|

 ayan. later na lang ulit. i have to go to school. i have class pa eh, and i have to pass by the clinic to get some medicine for my head ache. argh... hehe.

ito na ang gabing di malilimutan.
POSTED AT 01:24 AM

badasspaul

    october 19,2005... 2 days after my birthday... is the despedida for monica. ito na ang gabing di malilimutan. thats all i can say about the night. i have midterms in p.e. later. but i dont really care, all i want is to see her before she leaves. this may be the last time we see each other... i hope not. i hope to see her again, some time in the not so near future. so... daming nangyari, parang mini reunion. sembreak lahat ng nandun, ako lang may pasok, midterms pa bukas, pero the hell i care! wala akong pakielam. haaaaaaaaaay.

    this night is full of tears. sa kotse pa lang nung nkikinig kami ng parokya, hanggang ngayon... haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. ayoko na. isa lang ang hiling ko kay God, sana bantayan niya si Monica at wag papabayaan. wala na akong masabi. maybe next time, when im in the mood to say something. wag muna ngayon. all i can do is cry.

 

 

 

 

 wala ng mas sasakit pa sa mga pangyayari, pero i cant do anything but accept the fact. the fact that shes leaving... this sucks!!! bounce.

Listening to: prom-sugarfree
Feeling: iyakin!

too little, too late.
POSTED AT 12:00 AM

badasspaul

isang buwan ang sinayang ko. i cant believe it. we realized that we miss each other so much, ngayon pa. all i can do is watch her slip away from me. she is still monica nicole, a girl i knew way back from first year highschool. loosing her is like loosing a part of my body, may malaking kulang na pag wala siya.

 kung hindi nangyari to, hindi namin marerealize ang mga bagay na narealize namin. iba pala talaga kapag may pinagsamahan. yun lang yun eh. im going to miss her so much. ngayon pa lang namimiss ko na siya, paano pa kapag umalis na siya? ngayon pa lang, iyak na ako ng iyak, paano pa kapag naka alis na siya? these are questions only time can answer. haaaaaaaaay. namimiss ko na siya ng sobra. sobra.

 gaya ng sabi mo, "hindi naman kailangang tayo eh. basta."

 

    hindi pwedeng hindi kita ulit makita, ill do everything and anything to see you once more before you leave.

Listening to: dreaming of you
Feeling: iyakin parin

POSTED AT 10:23 AM

badasspaul

love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look that becomes a habit.

she's leaving home.
POSTED AT 12:42 AM

badasspaul

YOU WIN SOME, YOU LOSE SOME... YOU JUST HAVE TO PICK YOUR SELF UP AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE.

Listening to: still here waiting
Feeling: not running out of tears

nako.
POSTED AT 10:59 AM

badasspaul

    darn, its saturday already... that only means one thing... less than two days before monique leaves. argh... the pain. hmmm... its 11 am already, so that means, theres 43 hours left before she leaves... NOOOOOOOOOOO.

     i cant believe it. she's really leaving. haaaaaaaaaaay.

    i got to talk to arcel last night, i think we're the only two person who doesnt want monica to go... badly! if we could do anything to stop her from leaving, we would. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

    anyway, i have to go, aint feeling well.  

Feeling: lonely

what if...
POSTED AT 02:19 PM

badasspaul

... i told you i wanted to see you?  maybe for the last time in this life time. would you grant my wish? or just hide behind the shadows of life? tell me...

2:00pm, Sunday, October 23, 2005... 14 hours left before monique leaves the country.  i just came from her house to give her something, she sent mikaela out to get it for her. i saw her... she peeked out of the gate. and i guess thats the last time i'd be able to get a glimpse of her face.  a face that would run through my head forever. her smile that would never cease to make me happy. yes, she's been a part of my life. and im having a hard time moving on... maybe in a few months time? no. in a year or two? no. she's the kind of person that would run in my life forever.

now that she's leaving, i dont know what to do. what am i to do? i want to turn back time. back to last wednesday, where i spent probably the last night i would be able to spend with her. its sad. you just dont know how it feels. its as if im carrying the whole world on my shoulders, unable to move, i seem to be frozen in time.  why cant i be able to move on? it seems to me that im trapped in this certain time zone, where all my memories are being refreshed. i remember everything, from the 18th of february, to the 19th of October. i remember everything, from all the happy moments to the fights and misunderstandings we've had. i remember them, as if they happened only hours ago. everything seems so clear, all the memories i see are like crystal. theres only one thing that seems so unclear, the answer to my question, why does she have to leave?

 why does it have to be this way? why does it hurt so much? i dont know, time will tell. but i guess my life is really meant to be this way. twisted, in an unbelievably cruel way...

Listening to: baby youre all that i want
Watching: memories of her run through my head.
Feeling: blank

we belong together
POSTED AT 04:12 PM

badasspaul

I didn't mean it
When I said I didn't love you so
I should have held on tight
I never should've let you go
I did nothing
I was stupid
I was foolish
I was lying to myself
I could not fathom that I would ever
Be without your love
Never imagined I'd be
Sitting here beside myself

I didn't know you
I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everything
I never felt
The feeling that I'm feeling now
Now that I don't
Hear your voice
Or even touch or even kiss your lips
Cause I don't have a choice
What I wouldn't give
To have you lying by my side

We belong together
When you left
I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please
We belong together

Who else am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
Baby nobody else
We belong together

I can't sleep at night
When you're all on my mind
Bobby Womack's on the radio
Singing to me
'If you think you're lonely now'
Wait a minute
This is too deep, too deep
I gotta change the station
So I turn the dial
Trying to catch a break
And then I hear Babyface

I only think of you
And it's breaking my heart
I'm trying to keep it together
But I'm falling apart
I'm feeling all out of my element
I'm throwing things
Crying
Trying to figure out
Where the hell I went wrong
The pain reflected in this song
Ain't even half of what
I'm feeling inside
I need you
Need you back in my life baby

When you left
I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please
We belong together

Who else am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody else
We belong together

Listening to: we belong together

10 hours to go.
POSTED AT 08:20 PM

badasspaul

mali ung calculation ko kanina... so eto, 8:20pm na... 9 hours and 40 minutes to go na lang... haaaaaaaaaay.

why is life such a loser? you only get realize the persons worth to your life when youre going to lose her already? answers.... i need answers!!! 

12 hours after.
POSTED AT 06:07 PM

badasspaul

    12 hours after the probably most devastating event that occured in my life, i seem to be doing good. being able to smile and everything. but are they fo' real? maybe not.. i guess.. my blockmates led by ric fabia the drug addict tried to make me happy. haha. gago tlga si ric. ok na din, napa smile ako sa mga songs niya. kahit masakit talaga. haaaaaaaaaaaaay.

    mika texted this afternoon, she just wanted to know how i was doing. "musta kuya paul?" haha. napa smile naman ako sa aming munting conversation. mika, monique's younger sister, is like a lil sis to me also. alagang alaga ko un. hehe. siyempre, kuya paul eh. minsan lng maging kuya ng babae. hehehe. yun, so sembreak na daw nila, tapos she was asking if i knew champ and stuff, mukhang crush niya. haha. tapos, i asked her when she was going to the states, sa march pa daw. haaaaaaaaay. so ilang months from now, mawawala naman ang nagiisang little sister kung turingin ko na si mika. haaaaaaaaaaaaaay.  buhay nga naman. 

    sooo. after all, the person who i thought was going to try to cheer me up was just blank... i guess i shouldnt have made asa to that thought... i just want time to pass me by so quickly... i want to find out what devastating events are to come into my life. i want to see if that 'someone' would be there, to catch me when i fall again.

     anyhoooo. i have to go, organizational management departmental exam tomorrow. databas and sociology midterms on friday. jeee whiz. what a shed.

 

Listening to: the killers-mr brightside

ayoko nang mabuhay sa kahapon
POSTED AT 10:37 AM

badasspaul

    i want to move on. but how. everyone wants the old me back. ric, zyon, max, marc, tani, all of them, i wonder if she wants the old me back. max even asked me yesterday, "paul, how come you seem to be not you?" jeeeeeeeeez. if only i could tell everybody.

    yeah right. ok lang ako. thats all i can say. pero deep inside, its burning like hell, i dont know whats happening. they wouldnt understand how hard it is to lose someone special, someone who's been a part of your life. its like losing a part of your self. 

    bakit kaya dati, hindi naman ako ganito kahit na hindi kami nagpapansinan? i dont know... before, i knew inside me she was just around, and she'll be there when i need her, and thats what you call complacency. now that shes gone? what am i to do? somebody needs to pull me into the right direction. prayers dont seem to be working right now... 

 

"    Let me know if I’m doing this right
Let me know if my grip is too tight
Let me know if I can stay all of my life
Let me know if dreams can come true
Let me know if this one’s yours too

Cause I see it
And I feel it
Right here
And I feel you right here   "

 

Listening to: gemini
Feeling: missing you.

tsk tsk tsk...
POSTED AT 09:45 PM

badasspaul

so, monique is in maryland already. mika texted me, "kuya paul, tumawag si ate monique, text daw kita para alam mo na nandun na siya." so, knowing that she's safe, a piece of the burden has been lifted of my chest... good? im not yet sure.

heard mass in school a while ago. i have this thing in my head, i cant get it out. "learn to let go of your attachments." argh.... what am i gonna do now? 

 thanks nga pala to my blockmates. kay calysta marge... kay pam hotness, na walang sawang nagpapatawa sakin. kay ric anthony the adik, na nagbibigay ng mga bigatin pero worthwhile na mga advise. i would also like to thank nike, for my shoes, shirts and jerseys. adidas for my shorts. bench for my posters. hanes for my underwear. hp for my laptop and printer and mouse. nokia for my cellphones. nestle knick knacks for my snacks. l'oreal for my hair. thankyou, for continiously supporting me... godbless.

Listening to: narda-kamikazee
Feeling: blank.

ok. now move!
POSTED AT 11:06 AM

badasspaul

 so... she's in maryland already... moving on with her life. me? still here...stuck in this certain timezone where memories are of the essence. i have only one choice. and thats to move on... in due time i will... im trying my best to do that now.. in about 40 minutes i'd be heading back to school for my sociology class. darn. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. move on fool... move on...

i want to play basketball. its been so long since i've last played. my hands are aching to hold a ball and shoot hoops. and, i need to release stress, frustrations, and depression. maybe after a game, i'd be feeling much better. but that has to wait till saturday... its midterm week. tons of projects, midterm test, books are all stocked up waiting to be opened. so...... sociology.... database.... argh... i even have to dance tomorrow morning. argh... the sorrow!!! the paaain!!! nooooooooooooooo!

'let go of all your attachments.' 

Feeling: weird

WHOA!
POSTED AT 01:46 AM

badasspaul

    wowowee. its almost 2am and im not even close to finishing my business scenario paper for management. jeeeeeeeeeeez. this is just the first draft. my gad! college life is really taking its toll on me. plus, i have this really bad head ache due to doing to much paper work. i have yet to work on my english essay, which, unfortunately, i forgot to save. damn it! sooo.. what a day for me.

 

"still missing you." 

Feeling: sleepy

tired.
POSTED AT 10:26 AM

badasspaul

just got home from p.e. class. well this isnt actually the place i call home. so, im really tired and sleepy. i slept at around 4? 4:30 am? something like that... so here i am now, typing my ass off... im going to take a shower then sleep for like an hour, just right before math class starts. haaaaaaaay. i am really tired. and miserable. almost failed cha cha, but thanks to emman, i passed. haha. haaaaaaaaaay. missing her more and more.

but there's something good. im starting to move on now. little by little, the old me is coming back. i think  this is a good sign. but im not sure yet... maybe i will be back in a month or two. ya feel?

ayt, gotta bounce. gonna take that shower and some WELL DESERVED sleep. 

Feeling: sleepy

am i ready for the tests?
POSTED AT 10:59 AM

badasspaul

soooooooo. imma be taking my midterm tests today. yes. testS. introso, which is coming up in a few minutes... thats sociology.. im not sure if im gonna pass because its one hell of a boring subject. sometime late in the afternoon is my databas midterms. database management shit... its not boring, well, kinda... im forced to listen cause i donwanna fail that major subject. whoooo... so, now, i just finished taking a shower. im fresh for the tests... got some good, quality sleeping time... i guess? oh, let me tell you, i didnt get the sleep i was aching for yesterday. i got to sleep during databas class. that a full 1 and a half hour of sleep! jesus christ. haaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

so here i am again... alone in this small crapped out space somewhere along taft avenue. trying to release some stress before the tests. im tired. really. nobody knows how tired i am... goodthing theres a pretty long weekend coming up. gonna get some rest. i deserve some. i've been working on school shit for the past few days and nights!!! so, better bounce now. hafta study some more on sociology. anyway, sociology is the study of human society and observations on human behavior. chillax fools.

 

"lOvE is sUcH a cLueLesS cYcLe oF PaIN aNd hAppIness. YoU'lL neVeR kNow wHat wILL hApPen neXt.

soMetiMeS it bRingS Out SmILes, BuT CaUses TeArs aFterWarDs...

bUt we nEveR seEm tO gIve uP thOugH we'Ve cRied a LoT. mAybE bEcaUse iT'S a greAt FeeLinG tO cRy ThEN sOmEoNE wiLL cOmE to WipE ofF YoUR TeArs.. oR wHiLe BreAkiNg InTo Pieces, kNowing that SoMeOnE is breaKing hiS WhOLe inTo pIeces jUst To make YOU whoLe AgAin."

Listening to: dragonfly

what if...
POSTED AT 09:45 PM

badasspaul

so im home... good thing. sleep all day... huwaw. i really need this break. yeahboy. haaaaaaaaay. its 9:42 pm. and silence is driving me nuts. i need to go out, but there aint no car outside... no people... why are they all in their friggin houses???

 

 

Listening to: what if-menaya
Feeling: ...

POSTED AT 10:08 PM as a stickied post

badasspaul

this pain is just an illusion. 

 scroll down.

thanks to miss abigail de leon for the lay out. 

 

desiderata
POSTED AT 11:27 PM

badasspaul

"Found in Old St. Paul's Church"

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Listening to: the scientist-coldplay