blanko
POSTED AT 10:34 PM

badasspaul

    so i wake up feeling all messed up all of a sudden. or i dunno.... something like it. things have been pretty good recently. thanks to ishka ofcourse, but there are still some stuff that bother me.

    you know the feeling when you've almost got all you want. well i almost do... like.. nah, not almost. i mean, close to it. i finally got to know that person. she's been very kind and all that. i didnt actually think she'd be that much of a person, even more. but then again, having met her brought me to an even more confusing life. i mean... i know im truly geniunely happy to have met her, like really really happy. and i keep saying to my self that i'm contented with that. but thats the problem, with meeting those people who you only dreamed about. its the tendency to keep on wanting more, even though you know that you cant. its been only a week or two since i met her. i know its a little to fast, but wow. she really has that effect on me. you know, the one that you just cant get off your mind. she's been all that. she's been... i dont even know what to say.

    its true that when you finally get something you really really really want, its hard to accept that you'll have something really really important to lose. atleast thats what i think right now. i mean, i know she doesnt take me for anything more than a friend. and i see her as that also. its not like im crazily inlove with the person. maybe just kinda infatuated. or something like that. i mean, there's a lot more to know about her. its just the fact that, wow, couldnt she atleast give me a chance this early. i know its going to be a no. but, hell.... i dont know what to do to, you know.... be able to have that chance. i dont know how im going to get to the level where i have a chance at something more than what i wanted. i know its greedy... but i think a broken heart should be allowed to be greedy every once in a while. right?

   i have no idea how im going to get there. but im not fast to give up either... one way or another i'll find a way. i know some of my friends will be there to help... but i just know im going to beat the buzzer again.

   having thought of that didnt make me feel better. and i dont know why. i mean, when optimism comes knocking, i immediately feel better. but this time, its like it peeked through the window and left. i dont know. i just have the thought about beating the buzzer. you may get the shot off in time, but you have a 20% chance of making the basket. maybe thats whats bugging me. not all buzzer beaters go in.

 
    NOT ALL BUZZER BEATERS GO IN, PAUL. not all.
 

anger management
POSTED AT 04:31 PM

badasspaul

omfg! im so fucking burned. hahaha. my skin is all red and stuff. well, who cares. atleast i got some sunshine. hahaha.

 

anyway. this certain person is texting me random stuff.... i bet she doesnt know whats going on in my head. she's too much of an assumption person than a "maybe i'll try to think like him" person. stupid stupid stupid.

too much of yourself will prolly kill you. thats why i try my best to be around people. but this time around i choose the people i want to be around. i dont want to be around backstabbing, plastic faced people. i just want to be around people who'll tell stuff to my face. i want people who'll say "you are fucking stupid man" and wont be too pissed off to leave my side. you know? those are true friends. not unlike some *ehem ehem* ok, i'll stop right there. hahaha.

oh and yeah, i kinda made my previous blogs public on purpose. i mean... there are more stuff to hide than those. hahaha. and to monica nicole, no, im not afraid of my enemies. kasi i know enemies ko yung people i used to, you know... hahaha. actually i dont really consider them enemies. haha.

 

pero isa lang masasabi ko. ANG PPLASTIC NIYO. hahaha. mag tanong kasi kayo, para sagutin ko kayo ng maayos. hahaha.

anyway, taena, sayang nag something fishy daw yung mga kabarkada ko kahapon. that sucks, di ako kasama. pffffffffffft. pero ok lang, next saturday, bords. haha.

oh pero im still pissed at this random person. haha. wala lang, i just feel like being pissed. how can i be not pissed at a person acting all clean and stuff? i mean. hey! beep beep! look in the mirror before you judge someone, right? as if you dont have skeletons in your closet. its as if you're all "little miss perfect". well, fuck off. you aint.

 

ANGER MANAGEMENT. hahaha.

 

IM NOT A SAINT. And YOURE NOT ONE EITHER. SO DEAL WITH IT.

 

anywaaaaay. let me just remind the people of the galaxy, that if you've got something to ask me or tell me. TELL ME! DONT FUCKING PLAY HIDE AND SEEK WITH ME! I AINT NO FUCKING PSYCHIC, YOU KNOW. god damn it. hahaha.

 

oi borja! we should make like the top 10 bad grammar people awards. hahaha. pota, mukhang sa sinabi ko kasali na ako agad dun ah. haha. sarry!!!!

 

sarap pala ng may signal ulit. haha. pag labas ng batangas, nagtext agad si panchit. ininggit ako. darn it. nag swimming naman ako sila hindeeee. bwahahahaha. pero infairness, masaya din ang walang signal. haha. may challenge kasi maghanap ng signal eh. HAHAHA. 

hmmm. anyway. sige, im out muna. later ulit kapag may random angry moments nanaman. hahaha.

p.s. wala akong kinagagalitan. promise. seryowso. nde, totoo talaga. haha  

that bitch
POSTED AT 09:12 AM

badasspaul

well if i aint drunk last night i wouldnt have noticed that. hahahaha.

 that crazy half hearted beeyotch.

i dont want to keep on saying i dont care, because even if i dont, i still do get offended sometimes. 

oh my god. if she only knows what im talking about. hahahaha.

my initial reaction when i saw that was, "whaaaat?! who the fuck. oh god. kalimutan mo na lang ako." hahahahahahaha. placing my name near his sends shivers down my spine. thats some scary shit right there. haha.

anyway... im starting to see why this is all happening. haha.

thank You, Lord